twilight+thrift stores

THE FOLLOWING IS AN ENTIRELY TRUE TALE OF HOW TWILIGHT LED TO (inadvertent) THRIFT STORE THEFT

After a long week of work (as President and CEO of Mama Inc.), I declared I needed a night out. By myself.

So after meeting for dinner at Zabas, I swapped cars and child with Spencer and set out for a night of whatever I wanted. He took Sawyer to a middle school basketball tournament. REAL sorry I missed that night of excitement.

I decided to head to my local DI to get my thrift on, and who knew where the night would take me from there. After a little searching, I found some things worth buying. I mean, $3 for an Odille top from Anthropologie? DONE.

I counted up my finds, all 6 of the little gems totaling $16 (remember this number for later). I was very satisfied with myself, and with DI as I headed to make my purchases at the checkout.

"Hi. We, um...we have to ask you these questions when you checkout..." the young(slightly effeminate)man at the register said as he rang up said Anthropologie shirt (which did not fit me and I actually bought for one of my buxom best friends).

"Ok..." I waited for his questions to start.

"Have you seen Twilight?" he asked, giggling a little.

"Um, yeah. I've seen it" I answered honestly, but holding back my repressed teenage Twilight-love, since I was amongst strangers.

"Who's your favorite character?" was his next question.

Unsure of what this was leading to, I hesitated, but answered, "Uh..I guess..Edward?". Which is not a guess, its a FACT.

He was disappointed and let out a kind of grumble/sigh.

"Well who's your favorite character?" I was asking the questions now, pal.

"Mine?? Oh it's Jacob! C'mon.." he insisted, as if I should have known.

So in an effort to mend things, I said "Well, after the second movie, I was about 50/50 with Jacob and Edward. I like them both I guess." Which is not a guess, its a half-truth.

But he was satisfied with this. "Yeah, the second movie is good. He says my favorite line in that movie..." and in the most well mastered Taylor Lautner impersonation, he recited some lines from the movies, including "He left you Bella! He doesn't even want you anymore!"

You can't make this stuff up. I was dying inside. Dying.

After he was done telling me how he liked Jacob's long hair better, I complimented his impersonation.
"Thank you, I've been practicing that", he said. "Your total is six dollars."

SIX DOLLARS??, I thought to myself, looking at the cash register screen. Sure enough, it read 6.00.

"What? No..it's gotta be more than that..?" I asked, wondering if DI was having a sale or something. Does DI even have sales?

"Nope. Six dollars." He repeated.

"See, you answered the questions" he leaned towards me, "You passed the test."

"Uh..okaaay" I said as I grabbed my bag and paid.

Once in the car and driving to my next thrifty stop of the night, I laughed to myself about that twilight obsessed DI employee. This will make a good story, I thought. Then I reached in my bag and looked over the receipt.

He only rang up 3 items, each for $2.

This will make a GREAT story.

SIDENOTE: At first, I thought this was the most hilarious/profitable thing that had happened to me in a very long time. Then I was consumed by the guilt of stealing by way of twilight-test-at-cash-register. Then I resigned myself to drive my piles of donations to DI and call it even. Please don't judge me.

More on my amazing night of thrift store finds to come...including items I PAID for.