grammar nazi

I have been referred to as a grammar nazi before. I correct people's (and by people, I mean Spencer and my former coworkers) spelling and occasional speaking errors. I am by no means a master of the English language, but c'mon. Were, we're, where-- these are not all the same word to be substituted at will.

It's like an OCD type of thing for me. If you aren't sure how to spell a word, then find a synonym that you are confident in spelling. Same thing with the pronunciation of words. While watching Spencer grade papers the other night and spotting some major spelling errors, it reminded me of a great example of how much of a grammar snob I can be.

Apples to apples: a double feature

What do you think the odds are that two guys my sister would date at separate points in time would each be caught mispronouncing words during a board game where I am not only present, but a highly invested competitor? Sadly for two of my sister's former flames, lady luck was not on their side.

The first time was a game of Apples to Apples with a drummer boy (who's Anthony?) that my sister was dating, who was equally as competitive as I am at games.

When it was his turn to read the card he said a word I'd never heard.

He pronounced loudly, "soup-er-lay-tive".

After a few seconds, I questioned him, "Did you mean superlative??"

Embarrassed, but still full of pride, he said "Uh yeah. Shut up. That's what I meant. Superlative."

So we all had a nice laugh and kept teasing him and saying "souperlaytive" all night. Good times.

Fast forward to months later. A bearded, mopey guy has emerged at the dining room table to claim his spot as the new boyfriend. We are explaining to him how to play Apples to Apples. Before the game starts, we briefly talk about my grammar nazi-ism (not a word, I know. hypocrite alert!) We even recount the story of the drummer boy and "souperlaytive", in all of its glory. He has a good laugh. So far his attempts at deep intellectual comments and spotty social skills are hinting that he might be the type who is into the idea of seeming really smart and "well-read", whatever that even means. He didn't last long enough with Erin for me to find out what he was "into", except for being a downer of a date.

His turn to read. He butchers the word on the card.

I immediately start cracking up, yelling "Are you kidding?? You're kidding right! That's awesome! hahaha..."

As his face drops, I realize he isn't kidding. It is not a joke. I seriously think he is being funny, mocking the old boyfriend and scoring funny points with the big sister. Oh how wrong I am.

It is "souperlaytive" all over again.

And I am laughing and banging on the dining room table, drawing as much attention to his ironic error as humanly possible. So I pull my claws out of the poor guy, and we all try to laugh it off and pretend it didn't happen. But he left the house mortified and we didn't get Apples to Apples out to play again for a long time.

Luckily, the current boyfriend has played and survived Apples to Apples with me. It's a promising sign. But the story does remind me to stop acting like the grammar police, even though it has made for some pretty hilarious corrections.

Note: I am positive this post is full of run-on and poorly formed sentences. Feel free to dish it out, I can take it.